Nkhupulika Yayi
Yesterday morning, a woman came to my house looking for me, looking for help, looking for money. This woman looked similar to so many that I have met over the past four months. The creases on her face are physical marks of the fatigue she feels from her daily responsibilities. The chitenje wrapped around her waist is tattered and dirty because she probably can't afford to buy a new one and washing it only keeps it clean for a moment when you live in a grass-thatched hut with mud floors.
She sat on our veranda (her sign of respect to me) and greeted me in Nkhonde. I greeted her back and she began to tell me what was wrong. I responded with, "Nkhupulika yayi" (I don't understand). In this particular moment, I simply meant, "I don't understand what you're saying because I don't really know Nkhonde." But I could have meant, "I don't understand how to help you back on your feet." Or it could have meant, "I don't understand how there can be so many people facing these similar problems." Or it even could have meant, "I don't understand why these women are coming me, a young 22 year old with little knowledge of their experiences, for help."
I walked inside and asked Vicki, one of our cooks, if she would be willing to help translate for me. With her help, I learned that this woman is caring for her orphaned grandchildren after her daughter passed away. She was looking for some money to start business and so I explained (through Vicki) about our Women's Empowerment Program and how it works. It was clear she was unhappy that she couldn't receive help now and I tried to explain that I recognized that she was in a challenging position but all the women (over 150 groups) on our waiting list are also in that challenging position and it wouldn't be fair to help her first.
Wouldn't be fair. What about this situation IS fair? Is it fair that because this woman's daughter died, she now has to go begging help of other people in order to find means to adequately provide for her family's needs? Is it fair that I live in a huge house that clearly has the amenities I need (AND want) and she is simply asking for help with her NEEDS? Is it fair that I stay within the "system" that exists here in order to help instead of acknowledging that I personally could afford to give her the little sugar she asked for at the end of her visit with me?
Nkhupulika yayi.